I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
