If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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