apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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