I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
