The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
