I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
