Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
