It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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