one two three fourrrrnication!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
