you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
