are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
