SEEEEXXX PLEASE
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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