No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
