You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
