my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
