just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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