I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
