it's not cheating when I paid for it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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