I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
