Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
