oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
