I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
