She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
