When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
