I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
