My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
