every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
