The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize