OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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