Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
