We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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