Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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