it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize