i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
