Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
