Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
