Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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