PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
