I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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