So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
