Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
my liver is dry heaving
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
