Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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