i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
