he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All I want is dick and wine.
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