U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
