somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
