Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
