i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
