You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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