All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
