Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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