yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize