There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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