I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
