he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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