Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
