When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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