whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
