If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
