just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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